My Lobotomy is an autobiography of the life of Howard Dully. At first, I thought it would be an intere
sting read to see what actually happened to a person undergoing a lobotomy, but it turned into a lot more. This was not a sob story about a kid who was unmanageable and destructive. Instead, Howard was a typical 7th grader whose step mother hated him, to the point of lobotomizing him. Even then, she could not accept and love him. She forced her husband, Howard's father, to keep him from returning to the house, forcing him into family's homes, hospitals, mental wards and jail. I never thought that so much could happen to such a young child, nor that the child could later make anything of himself. A lobotomy's sole purpose is to disrupt normal brain functions. At the time, Dr. Freeman was the leading expert. He knew what he was doing, and it's surprising that so little actually affected Howard. I could never imagine what his life was like. It amazes me that he was able to learn so much about it and still remain upbeat, positive and forgiving.
At work, I see kids who come from sketchy homes, and uncaring parents. I've called home on my troubled kids, and tried to make a connection. Some kids love me, and really appreciate the time and effort I put in because they don't get that at home. I see them every day, and spend as much time as I can with them. Even though I'm a lowly substitute teacher, I think and hope I've made some sort of impact on somebody. Some days are harder to see that than others. It's made me realize that if I want to work with kids like this, I really need to go back to school and finish what I started. Then, maybe, I can make a bigger impact and actually do something to help. Maybe prevent some of the damage I've read about. Howard even says that the emotional damage was far worse than anything Dr. Freeman did with his ice picks.
I think I can do this, and for once, I really have some motivation to do it. This has been a tough week. I did my taxes and realized all to immediately that despite everything I've been told at school, I really wasn't ready to be an adult just because some piece of paper says I've completed high school. There are a lot of things they never prepared me for. I was really worried about not being able to move out this summer. I've had a lot of sleepless nights spent thinking about money, moving and all those little things. I've thought about savings accounts, loans, cars, rent... the list could go on. But I've worried a lot, and finally I've gotten some peace of mind.
Mom and I had a great discussion today, and she's proud of me. She wants me to keep going. For the first time, she told me I was moving in the right direction. She thinks I can do it. I don't want to disappoint her, and I can't anymore. I've got to get the ball rolling and I have to show her that I can do this. Charina and I are going to move... this summer. I've made plans, and I need to stick to them. But better yet, I really know I can do this, and that's a good feeling. It's so much better now and so much more real now than it has been. I'm excited! I can breathe again!
sting read to see what actually happened to a person undergoing a lobotomy, but it turned into a lot more. This was not a sob story about a kid who was unmanageable and destructive. Instead, Howard was a typical 7th grader whose step mother hated him, to the point of lobotomizing him. Even then, she could not accept and love him. She forced her husband, Howard's father, to keep him from returning to the house, forcing him into family's homes, hospitals, mental wards and jail. I never thought that so much could happen to such a young child, nor that the child could later make anything of himself. A lobotomy's sole purpose is to disrupt normal brain functions. At the time, Dr. Freeman was the leading expert. He knew what he was doing, and it's surprising that so little actually affected Howard. I could never imagine what his life was like. It amazes me that he was able to learn so much about it and still remain upbeat, positive and forgiving.At work, I see kids who come from sketchy homes, and uncaring parents. I've called home on my troubled kids, and tried to make a connection. Some kids love me, and really appreciate the time and effort I put in because they don't get that at home. I see them every day, and spend as much time as I can with them. Even though I'm a lowly substitute teacher, I think and hope I've made some sort of impact on somebody. Some days are harder to see that than others. It's made me realize that if I want to work with kids like this, I really need to go back to school and finish what I started. Then, maybe, I can make a bigger impact and actually do something to help. Maybe prevent some of the damage I've read about. Howard even says that the emotional damage was far worse than anything Dr. Freeman did with his ice picks.
I think I can do this, and for once, I really have some motivation to do it. This has been a tough week. I did my taxes and realized all to immediately that despite everything I've been told at school, I really wasn't ready to be an adult just because some piece of paper says I've completed high school. There are a lot of things they never prepared me for. I was really worried about not being able to move out this summer. I've had a lot of sleepless nights spent thinking about money, moving and all those little things. I've thought about savings accounts, loans, cars, rent... the list could go on. But I've worried a lot, and finally I've gotten some peace of mind.
Mom and I had a great discussion today, and she's proud of me. She wants me to keep going. For the first time, she told me I was moving in the right direction. She thinks I can do it. I don't want to disappoint her, and I can't anymore. I've got to get the ball rolling and I have to show her that I can do this. Charina and I are going to move... this summer. I've made plans, and I need to stick to them. But better yet, I really know I can do this, and that's a good feeling. It's so much better now and so much more real now than it has been. I'm excited! I can breathe again!
