It has been far too long.
This past month has truly been horrible. First at the end of November a close friend (Bill) of mine passed away suddenly. I still don't really wanna believe he's gone. Part of me is still expecting him to make a random facebook rant, or to be in the Staples by me when I go in. Honestly, I think a little piece of me looks for his car in the parking lot. His family had a funeral service for him earlier this month, but it in no way represented who Bill was or what he meant to all of his friends. I think that part was more heartbreaking than actually losing him. But I know that he knows that we all love him and will never forget him.
More recently I've learned that my cousin who was taking care of my Grandmother has pretty much walked out on her, stating that she "was frustrated and tired of being taken advantage of." Yes, because living in my Grandmother's house rent and utility free and letting your children destroy her house in exchange for helping her is sooo horrible. I know that taking care of an elderly family is hard, but the way she went about it was completely cold and heartless. I really don't think that is something that I could ever forgive. My Grandmother, while of course she has her faults but she has ALWAYS taken care of her family and I don't mean just her children. I'm talking about her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Knowing that my Grandmother isn't getting the care that she not only deserves but truly need is emotionally taxing. Its pretty always on my mind. I don't know what to do. I've thought about just putting whatever moving plans that I have on hold and staying in Baltimore to make sure she's taken care of. But I just don't know what to do. I see how my mom is taking this and its just even worse.
I just don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel like its not even worth getting out of bed to going through the motions of the day. Is there really a point to all of this?
